Parenting Tips (Aug 30, 2007 at 8:17 PM) - As youth ministers we are constantly faced with parents who struggle with their teens. Use the following article written by Lori Cooper as a guide to help the parents in your church. You might use it to teach a parenting class or copy it and hand it to the parents.
Fighting Sexual Sin (Aug 16, 2007 at 9:21 PM) - As parents and youth ministers we are constantly fighting for our teens to resist sexual temptations.
When Your Teen Rejects Your Values (Mar 12, 2007 at 4:11 AM) - It is not uncommon in their quest for identity and independence for teens to reject some of the values of their parents, their church, and society. And to a degree this is not unhealthy. Young people need to develop their own convictions about life. And part of the process may involve challenging the values and convictions they have been taught.
Family Meetings (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Choose A Convenient Time. Finding a time when the entire family can be together may take a combination of sacrifice and commitment. Even thirteen-year-olds seem to have a schedule that keeps them busy every hour of the day.
Ask each family member to turn in a schedule of their average week.
TIps for Daily Parenting (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Share a Blessing. Talk of blessings like Jesus, food, shelter, clothing, etc. It is these sweet, simple things in life that allow us to see a blessing wherever we go.
What Teens Want Their Parents to Know (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Teens Want Their Parents To Know They Love Them. It is difficult for some teens to express their love for their parents. For whatever reason, showing affection or telling their parents about their love for them is very uncomfortable.
Family Communication (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Learn To Listen Attentively. It has often been said that God gave us one mouth and two ears so we could listen twice as much as we talk. The Lord puts it like this, “Be slow to speak and quick to listen.”
Before you say, "Now you listen to me, young lady," hear your teen's side of the story.
Communication Don'ts (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Don't Be Overly Critical. Criticism has its place, but not when it is used in a destructive way. No one wants to be told about their imperfections without receiving a possible solution.
Disciplining Your Teens (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Establish Family Rules. As parents we can handle each problem as it arises or we can set rules and try to avoid some problems. It is impossible for us to have a rule for every imaginable circumstance, but we can set standards for problems we know we are going to encounter such as curfew, and dating age.
Establish the house rules as early as you can.
Why We Need Strong Parents (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Develop In Your Teen A Personal Faith In God. Ecclesiastes 9:10 says, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all of your might…” Certainly raising our children and developing spiritual relationships is the ultimate “whatever.”
Parenthood is one of the most pressure-packed vocations a person can experience, so “all your might” is not an option, but a requirement.
Overcoming Parenting Discouragement (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Realize You Are Not Alone. Teenagers can say and do things that will make you feel like you have taught them nothing. Oddly, when we go through a storm we feel that the sun is shining on everyone but us.
Building a HEalthy Family (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Pray Together. Prayer builds spiritual intimacy between you and God, and between you and your family. It establishes openness about our lives and the things we feel need God’s personal touch.
Family Traditions (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Christmas. This holiday is one of the fondest traditions of all times. Families draw closer together during this holiday of giving and receiving. Don’t wait until December to start planning your traditions.
Teaching About Finances (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Give The First 10% To God. You don't have to limit your family to ten percent. The key is that your giving is sacrificial. King David said, "I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.”
Get an envelope and write "God's Money" on it.
Helping Your Teen Thrive at School (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Start Each Year Focused. The older teens become the more likely their goal is to "just graduate." When the education system is not used to further social and intellectual development, it becomes nothing more than teen-sitting service.
Helping Your Teen with Self-Image (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Explain “As You Love Yourself.” With so much talk of humility, most teens think that means to hate yourself. Denying self and hating self are two entirely different things.
Habits for Teens to Fight Stress (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. The Habit Of Proper Exercise. Regular exercise is one of the best stress reducers, and most teens do not get enough of it. Sure, they have cheerleading and sports, but those are competitive processes that can add to the stress levels.
Tips Teens Said They Would Use (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. "Spend More Time With My Kids." Forget the myth of quality verses quantity time. All children need attention and a lot of it.
"If I was a parent, I would set aside at least fifteen minutes three days a week to spend with my teen.
Recognizing Teen Depression (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Appearance. In some teens, depression will produce ongoing sorrow with a look of ongoing hopelessness. Their skin tone can lose its healthy color. Some appear frail and weakened by their depression.
Ask about their lives.
Spiritual Checkup for Parents (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Daily Quiet Time With God. Relationships bloom when couples spend time together. Are you and God a couple? If so, it will be reflected by the time you share with each other.
Set a specific time each day to get together with God.
Tips for Power Struggles (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Consistency. When it comes to behavior we like predictability. A person who blows up one time, then acts calm the next time the same event occurs makes us nervous.
Developing Your Teen's Talents (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Fully Support Their Talent(s). Pursue your teen's talent with him or her by making yourself accessible for pick-ups and drop-offs when needed. Give praise when it is warranted. Talk about how proud you are without expanding their egos.
It is possible for a parent to try to press a teen into a certain mold.
Staying Close to God as a Parent (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Spend Quality Time With God. Bible reading, prayer, and meditation are three ways to spend quality time with God. It has been said, “A chapter a day keeps Satan away.” Constantly learning and appreciating the love that God has for His children will change your life.
Consequences of Teen Sex (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Pleases Satan. Anything that does not please God pleases Satan. Because of a teen's increase of sexual desires and the desire to experiment sexually, Satan will use this area more than any other to make young people fall.
Remind teens that Satan twists God's purposes into his own.
Maintaining a Positive Outlook (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Stay Focused. Whenever we begin a new project we tackle it with all our might but over time our enthusiasm can wane. The same is true in parenting. There will be times when you feel like the best parent on the planet, and then there will be times when you wonder if it's worth all the hassle.
Reach into your memory bank and recall a time when your family was doing great.
What I Want My Teen to Know Before Leaving Home (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. How To Have A Personal Relationship With God. Relationships flourish when time and attention are coupled for the express purpose of drawing two people close. A relationship with God is developed the same way.
Getting Your Teen On Track Spiritually (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Parents Must Have A Personal Relationship With God. The way you as a parent model your relationship with the Almighty will enhance your child’s relationship with Him. It is easy to talk about or tell your child about the importance of a relationship with God, but your example will always speak louder than any words you could choose.
Helping Your Teen Stay Committed (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Give Them Responsibilities. In other words the teen owns the task. When you give someone a responsibility it will be done better if you allow him or her to accept the role without standing over them.
Reason for Guarding Your Television Viewing (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Excess Violence Pollutes The Mind. Over 22 studies show a link between TV violence and aggressiveness in children. According to psychologist Brian L. Wilcox, these studies show that television violence has the following effects:
Copycat violence: Some viewers directly imitate or reproduce aggressive behavior seen through the media.
Exaggerated fears: People who watch more TV are more fearful and paranoid of our world than those who do not.
Desensitization: Children who watch violent programming are less horrified by true crime.
Raising a Mission Minded Teen (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Be A Mission-Minded Model. Jesus said, “Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men” (Matthew 4:19). Verse twenty says they left their nets at once and followed Him.
Responsibilities of a Christian Father (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Be The Spiritual Leader. Households today are filled with men who do little to lead their families toward Jesus. They feel their responsibility is to provide income, but not spiritual guidance for their home.
Lead by modeling your life after Jesus.
Virtues to Instill in Your Teen (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Spirituality. Spirituality may be defined as the state or quality of being neither physical not material; Soul apart from matter; Unworldliness; Elevation of mind. Those terms are what separate a spiritual person from a religious person.
Family Forgiveness (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Because Jesus Forgives. Forgiving someone, especially a family member, who has wronged you, is a challenge. Our inward nature wants to exact revenge, or at the very least a little hurt.
As Jesus hung on the cross, He said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).
Question to Ask About Social Activities (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Where Will The Activity Be? The place of an event often reveals its nature. “John’s parents are out of town and a crowd is getting together to watch a movie.” That kind of statement should send off numerous alerts.
Teaching Your Teen About Responsibility (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Model Responsibility.
If our teens do not see us as responsible adults they will not think we are serious when we try to get them to be responsible. Sit down and talk with them about the responsibilities of being a parent. Tell them what you are trying to accomplish. Share with them the pressures of being a parent. Also, share with them the responsibilities of being a teen in today’s society. Let them see you doing responsible things in the home, church and work place.
2.Begin As Young As Possible.
Great Family Activities (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Family Night. Set aside one night a week or month for a family night in your home. Turn off the television and get out the board games. There are so many games to choose from but I’m sure you can come up with one that everyone enjoys. You might want to close out the evening with a family devotional, which may include a few minutes of prayer and sharing. Make it a fun night so your family will want to do it again.
Handling A Family Crisis (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Ask For Guidance. Any crisis that you face whether family, job, or church related should begin with bold and sincere prayer. God has got to be involved when handling a major crisis. It is also good to ask others to pray for you, especially those who have had a similar crisis in their own life.
Verses for Parents to Lean On (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
A new commandment I give you; Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. All men will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.
I Peter 4:8
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of
Being a Teen in a Single Parent Home (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Missing Your Other Parent. Teens are often devastated by the fact that a parent is missing. A son could face the fact that his dad, who plays pitch or takes him hunting, will not be around as much as usual.
Taming Your Teen (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Hug Them Daily. I recently talked with a gentleman who was counseling a 17-year-old boy. The young man was in all kinds of trouble, none of which were of serious nature. In the counseling it was discovered that the teen had not been hugged since he was four years old. He had a handshake or two from his dad but that was it. After counseling with the father and him being enlightened to what the young man said he has since made amends with his son and things are
Challenges of Single Parenting (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Seeing Your Child Being Hurt. One of the most difficult times for a parent is to see your child being hurt. We all know that along with divorce comes pain to the parents and the children. How do we combat that pain? We certainly need to bathe the situation in prayer as we ask for guidance from God. Talk with your teens and let them know that you understand that they are in pain and that you want to do whatever you can to help. Let them know that
Helping Your Teen Through a Divorce (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Be Open And Honest. Teens are perceptive; so do not try to hide things from them when it comes to family problems. Often parents will try to spare the feelings of their teens and this is a good intention but can be harmful in the long run. Most of the time it is better to be honest and say, “You need to know that we are having a few problems.” Do not put the blame on anyone; just let them know that there are problems.
Suicide Warning Signs (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Previous Attempts. When a teen develops a pattern of suicide attempts the following items in this category become even more significant and necessary to watch. Teens with a record of trying to take their lives lean toward repeating the attempt again and again.
Controlling Your Anger (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Do Not Hesitate To Get Help. If you are out of control, get help immediately. In any situation anger will add to the problem therefore you are not dealing with the problem itself but with the problem anger causes.
Signs of Hanging Out with the Wrong Crowd (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Disregards Family Rules. Many teens, when becoming involved with the wrong crowd, will totally disregard family rules. If you tell them to be home at a certain time or be at a certain place, they may disregard your instructions. Often this disregard of rules is to show their friends that they are in control of their own lives and nobody tells them what to do.
Relationships to Focus On (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. The Relationship With God.
The most important relationship that any parent can have is a great relationship with God. He is a parent just like we are in that He has love for His children. As parents we should constantly rely on His for help as we parent our children. Many times we will be on our knees asking God to protect our children and show us the right things to say or do while parenting. Always rely on Him and give Him praise even when things do not go
What Teens Say They Want from Their Parents (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Parents Who Are Spiritual Leaders.
It would be hard for me to number the times when teens have told me that they really want their parents to be strong spiritual leaders. However, they usually will not state this fact in front of their friends. As parents we should take every opportunity to teach them about Christ and His Church. Spend time with them daily sharing the blessings of God.
Virtues to Instill in Your Teen 2 (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Hospitality. Hospitality is the practice of entertaining friends or strangers with kindness and liberality. “Keep on loving each other as brothers. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it” ( Hebrews 13:1-2). “If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the Lord your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother. Rather be openhanded and freely lend him whatever he needs” (Deuteronomy 15:7-8).
Questions Parents Need to Ask Themselves (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Am I Doing All I Can Possibly Do To Get My Family To Heaven? John Maxwell says, “I am responsible to you, not for you.” We cannot force our kids to follow God, but we can provide every resource and instruction needed for them to make their own decision.
Find a quiet spot and list at least five ways that you are now using to get your family to heaven. Write them on paper so you will able to see them often.
Assigning Chores (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Assign Or Agree On Chores. This will give you an opportunity to communicate with your teen. As a parent you should tell him/her or agree on the chores that need to be done.
Things Teens Should Know About Life (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. “The World Owes You Nothing.” I had a friend who was always upset because he didn’t win the lottery. Even though he never bought a ticket he always felt like he should win.
Handling Family Conflict (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Keep Conversation Levels Low And Positive. I know this may be hard to believe but raising your voice by screaming and yelling only adds to the confusion. Parent/teen conflicts are usually a power struggle with each party trying to gain control of the conversation. Make your mind up before the conflict starts that you are going to be in control and you are going to do it with a low voice and sense of being positive. Pray about it before it happens and ask God for wisdom (James 1:5).
Parenting Don'ts (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Fail To Show Them Love. There are many mistakes, which may be made as a parent but never make the mistake of failing to show your love for you teens. Demonstrating your love will cover a multitude of mistakes. Your teens will realize sooner or later that you have been sincere while trying to raise them to be the best they can be. This will especially hit home when they have children of their own.
Giving your family a legacy of faith (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - OKLAHOMA CITY (BP)--It was one of those tense moments which ultimately became a turning point in the life of a young building contractor.
If he backed away from his request, he would lose any of the profit originally anticipated.
What Teens Will Remember About You (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. The Time You Gave Them. I will always remember the time my dad and mom gave me while I was growing up. I remember the ball games, camping trips, hunting and fishing trips, teaching my Sunday school class, teaching me in school, and just hanging out.
Remaining Close After the Teen Years (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Continue To Give Your Family Top Priority.
Even after they have graduated, gone to college, seeking a career, join the military, or got married continue to keep them at the top of your priority list of concerns. Keep them at the top of your prayer list and continue to let them know that you love them unconditionally.
Signs of Successful Parenting (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Your Teen Takes Your Advice.
What a great feeling it is the first time your teen walks up to you and says, “I need your advice on something.” You really feel like they trust your opinion and you know that something you have done or said over the years is finally sinking in. There may be a time when you need to ask for their advice on an issue. Teens usually do not seek the advice of their parents so know that you are the exception and be glad.
Adults Too? (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - Have you overheard a conversation among a group of junior-high girls? Maybe they were at a lunch table or maybe just standing in the halls at school. The conversation went something like this:
“He’s such a hunk, look at that bod.”
“Here comes Jason, look at those thick glasses. He’s such a nerd.”
“Did you see her hair? That’s the grossest mess I’ve ever seen.”
“I can’t stand to be around her, she’s really stuck on her self.”
“Hey, did ya’ll here about Jennifer? She is in big time trouble.”
These are just a few of
Youth Group Blues (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - Most kids can't wait to attend a church's youth group. But unfortunately, there are some who can't stand the thought of going at all. If your preteen or teen fits into this category, you can always force her to attend youth classes and activities.
Preventing Parenting Burnout (May 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM) - 1. Use Your Time Wisely. As parents we have many schedules and time demands, not only on our work schedules but our parenting schedules as well. If both parents are working, which is usually the case, you may have to set aside family times days in advance and decide not to let anything interfere. Your family is more important than anything.